10 Steps to Attract the Life You Want

By Heather Mathews
Author of Manifestation Miracle 

“What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi

If I told you that you could create the exact type of circumstances you want, would you call me crazy?

What if your very thoughts could create ripples of change that not only impact your life…

…but those around you as well?

Philip, a call center worker from the Philippines certainly didn’t think so. He dreamed of moving overseas so he could secure a better life and provide for his family.

But at every turn, his own mind shut down every opportunity he thought of.

For instance, Philip considered seeing an immigration consultant, but he either “didn’t have the time” or “couldn’t afford it”.

So, he resented his situation and cursed himself (and the world) for his “bad luck”.

He didn’t realize that the real culprit was his mindset – not his circumstances.

And it seemed like the more he ruminated, the more bad things happened.

Thus, he kept feeding the cycle of being stuck in a rut and feeling bad, trapping him even more.

That was, until his aunt Sara introduced him to the Law of Attraction.

Turning the tide

Before she moved to California, Sara had been close with Philip and treated him like a son.

She had her own share of struggles finding greener pastures abroad, but she applied the principles from the Law of Attraction to overcome them.

So she sent a few books on the topic to Philip through Amazon so he could gain the clarity to turn his life around.

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At first, Philip didn’t really think much of it, but he decided to read through the books since his aunt went through the trouble of sending it over.

After he started applying the lessons he learned from the material, things started to change for him.

It came as a complete shock to Philip – he never thought in a million years that making a simple shift in his thinking could have such a direct and POWERFUL impact in his life.

And soon enough, the fog of negativity and despair around Philip lifted and he found a way to make his dreams happen.

Through his persistence, he was eventually able to borrow the money he needed for the consultation fees, and learned the step-by-step process to get work overseas.

Philip was finally able to find a fulfilling and rewarding career in Australia. Not only does he get to support his family back home, he also made friends and enjoys his new life abroad.

Just a few months ago, Philip’s parents started their own business, thanks to his help.

At the rate they’re going, his family could save enough so they can pass on their business to another relative and follow Philip to Australia. ould wait for Philip to take the offer so they can move there instead.

Whatever option Philip chooses, the possibilities for him are almost limitless.

But he’s just one of thousands who made the Law of Attraction to work for him. Like Philip, a lot of people are initially discouraged to try because they think it takes a lot of work.

But the reality is that it’s surprisingly easy to get started. You just need to follow these 10 Super Simple Steps to Attract Everything You’ve Ever Wanted:

Step #1: A little gratitude goes a long way

The first thing you should learn about the Law of Attraction is that it operates on energy.

YOUR energy, to be exact.

Everyone has a different kind of energy they bring into the world, and it affects them in ways they often don’t see or appreciate.

The secret lies in the FREQUENCY of a person’s energy – and you need to raise yours in order to change your life.

Think of your unique energy as a sort of gas that fills the space of your reality. Whatever “gas” or “energy” you pump out into your immediate space will define your existence.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said this in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning”:

“To draw an analogy: a man’s suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the “size” of human suffering is absolutely relative.”

So if you want to invite great things into your life, you need to set the stage first. And you can do that by leading with the right energy.

That’s why being grateful and appreciating what you have is powerful way to recalibrate your frequency.

Most folks hold off on feeling this way for AFTER they get what they want. But that’s putting the cart before the horse, as the saying goes.

When you LEAD with gratitude, it will act as the precedent for everything good that follows.

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What I like to do is start of my day by making a list of things that I’m grateful for. If I miss anything, I save it for later and update my list at the end of my day.

And when I go over my list during the weekend, I’ll see exactly how much good stuff I’ve accumulated.

This creates a kind of snowball effect and helps me attract even MORE good stuff down the road.

Step #2: Be generous

This can be a challenge for some people if they feel like there isn’t enough to go around.

But if you take the initiative to SHARE whatever you can without asking anything in return…

… you’ll generate the kind of energy that attracts prosperity for everyone…

…including YOU.

Again, this is the Law of Attraction at work.

Try offering your time, talents and material wealth to those who need it – you’ll soon invite blessings without even trying.

Step #3: Visualize your future

What I find amazing about kids is how powerful their imaginations are.

When they role-play with other children, you can see in their eyes how REAL their games are to them.

This is something that’s lost on grown-ups, and it’s important to recapture that ability to envision the kind of reality you want.

The Universe likes to play games with us- the better you are at visualizing, the more you’ll be rewarded.

Like I said, a certain type of energy attracts a certain kind of reality.

So if you focus your energy and thoughts on that dream job you want or the car you’ve always wanted to drive, you’ll raise your frequency to ATTRACT those exact things.

Step #4: Let the negativity pass

When the bad times roll in and you feel like dirt, sometimes it’s better to step aside and let it run its course.

Having negative thoughts and emotions are totally normal, but you don’t always have to wrestle with them.

You can simply acknowledge what’s going on in your inner world – then CHOOSE to keep moving forward anyway.

Let this negative energy pass through your system like bad case of gas. The sooner you let it do its thing, the quicker you can get back to what you were doing.

(Sorry for the fart analogy, but it get the point across, doesn’t it?)

Step #5: Never stop growing

It’s good to have a daily routine in your life, but not at the expense of your personal development.

Most people are so set in their ways that they’re afraid of the thought of doing something new.

Then they complain about their humdrum lives, or that some folks “have all the luck.”

Breaking out of your comfort zone is never an easy thing, but it’s a step worth taking.

No matter how loaded your schedule is, find some chunks of time to do things that will help you grow.

Whether it’s taking an online course, joining a community, or taking up a hobby, this is a powerful way to attract new and exciting things in your life.

Step #6: Avoid the “toxic” crowd

There are people who seem hell-bent on pulling others into their world of misery.

Whether they’re trying to lessen their own pain or simply enjoy doing it, you need to steer clear of them.

Instead, choose people who will have the opposite effect on your psyche. Not only does a person’s energy attract circumstances, it’s also CONTAGIOUS.

So make sure you hang out with the people who’ll inspire you to achieve greater things – and not bring you down with apathy or inaction.

Learn How to Force the Universe to Manifest Your Dream Life – CLICK HERE

Step #7: Give yourself permission to succeed

Most of the world’s most brilliant people were put down in some way.

Somewhere along the way, someone told them they’d “never make it” or were “destined to fail.”

In your own life, certain people have tried to discourage you in some way.

They might have tried putting you down when you were growing up – or it could have been last week.

It doesn’t matter.

What’s important is that you understand that NO ONE can put labels on you.

And more importantly, they can NEVER give you permission to achieve what you want in life. You need to do that for yourself.

Don’t let their words define your “story”. You don’t have to fit whatever petty narrative they’re trying to force on you.

Step #8: Affirm who you are

Instead of feeding into the lies that people tell you, let this be the day to start living your truth.

Create statements that embody the truth you choose to be, AND to live in.

People do this all the time.

When Elon Musk tried to launch the world’s first privately owned rocket and failed, he told himself, “I’m going to try again, and I WILL get that thing into orbit.” (Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.)

And so his company SpaceX went back to the drawing board and got it right after the third attempt.

Elon affirmed his truth and it manifested into reality. In the same way, you can choose to affirm whatever truth applies to you.

Be honest with yourself and acknowledge the things that TRULY matter to you.

You know it, and the Universe knows it.

The key is to repeat it yourself every day. For example, if you know deep in your heart that you want to make a better life for yourself, you can say something like this:

“I may be struggling right now, but I know deep inside that I have what it takes to improve my life. I see myself transforming into a happier, wealthier person who makes other people’s lives brighter.”

When you operate from even the tiniest shred of truth, you can grow that into a powerful force over time.

Step #9: Fail spectacularly

Here’s something most people don’t know about the Law of Attraction: before you can enjoy success and find true happiness, you need to crash and burn.

It’s better to go after what you want and risking failure rather than playing it safe and not trying at all.

To create order in your life, you’ll have to embrace the chaos that comes before it.

This is where you’ll find the real lessons, even if they hurt a little.

(Or in some cases, a LOT).

Think of yourself as the beautiful Phoenix, like in the legends.

Imagine burning off bits and pieces of yourself that you don’t need. As you rise from the ashes, you’re reborn into a NEW YOU.

That’s evolution. It may be an imperfect and unpleasant process, but the results are worth it.

Step #10: Remove your BIGGEST barrier to success

People don’t realize that their greatest roadblock is none other than their own mindset.

They may say they want something to happen, but don’t REALLY mean it.

For instance, someone might want to lose weight, but they don’t want it bad enough.

Worse, they might not actually believe they can shed those pounds. A part of them refuses to acknowledge the faintest possibility of it happening.

This is pretty much why people NEVER attract the things they want in life.

In order to remove this barrier, you’ll need to change something inside you.

You need to dig deep and understand WHY you don’t want it as much as you say you do.

Are you scared of suffering through the process of getting what you want?

This is what turns most people off – they simply can’t process the discomfort involved with growing up.

At the same time, you need to deal with the reasons why you think that your desired reality is impossible.

It could be some deep-seated beliefs brought about by past events, or experiences growing up.

Once you sort this out, you’ll be free to do what you want without any pre-programmed beliefs holding you back.

Now, these ten steps we just talked about will get your foot in the door. Once you start doing them regularly, you’ll experience remarkable breakthroughs you didn’t think were possible.

But if you want to witness even MORE changes on a massive (or even cosmic) scale, you need to check out my FULL course called Manifestation Miracle.

Like the name suggests, I enjoyed nothing short of a life-changing revolution not too long ago.

In a lot of ways, my situation was the same as Philip’s. I worked myself to the bone and felt unfulfilled.

I was trapped in my soul-crushing career. Even though I needed the money, I HATED having to put up a hollow appearance of a happy, successful businesswoman.

But then I discovered how turn my mind into a magnet for prosperity and abundance…

Learn how I unlocked the secret to ATTRACTING anything AND everything I wanted – CLICK HERE to watch the video now.

Writing as a Soft Place to Land

Writing as a Soft Place to Land

In a world that constantly asks us to explain, justify, and keep up, journaling offers something rare: a place where nothing is required of us.

No performance.
No productivity.
No outcome.

Just presence.

Within the practice of soft living, journaling becomes less about insight and more about intimacy — a quiet conversation with yourself where honesty is welcome and urgency is not.

Letting Go of ‘Doing It Right’

Many people avoid journaling because they believe they’re doing it wrong. They worry about coherence, depth, or whether what they’re writing is meaningful enough. Soft living releases that pressure entirely.

There is no correct way to arrive on the page.

Some days, journaling will look like full sentences and clarity. Other days, it will be fragments, repetition, or silence. All of it belongs. The page is not there to evaluate you — it is there to hold you.

Soft journaling is not about fixing your thoughts. It is about witnessing them.

Writing Without an Agenda

In soft living, journaling is not a tool to optimize your life. It is a space to listen.

Instead of asking, “What should I be working on?”
You might ask, “What is asking to be heard?”

This subtle shift changes everything.

When we write without an agenda, we allow buried emotions to surface gently. We give ourselves permission to feel without rushing toward resolution. Often, clarity arrives on its own, not because we chased it, but because we made space for it.

A Practice of Emotional Safety

Journaling can become a powerful act of emotional safety, a place where you don’t have to be composed or agreeable. You can be confused. Tired. Angry. Tender. Uncertain.

The page does not flinch.

In this way, journaling teaches us how to stay with ourselves even when our emotions feel messy or contradictory. Over time, this practice builds trust. Not in the answers we find, but in our ability to sit with the questions.

Soft Living Journal Prompts

If you’d like a gentle place to begin, try writing from one of these prompts, slowly, without forcing depth:

  • Where am I pushing myself more than I need to?

  • What feels heavy today, and what might lighten it?

  • What does my body need right now?

  • Where could I choose softness instead of effort?

  • What would it look like to be kinder to myself today?

Let the writing wander. Let pauses exist. Let truth arrive at its own pace.

Making Journaling a Ritual, Not a Task

Soft journaling doesn’t require long sessions or perfect consistency. Five quiet minutes are enough when they are intentional.

You might pair journaling with:

  • a warm drink

  • gentle lighting

  • a moment of stillness before bed

  • a pause at the start of the day

The goal is not discipline, it is familiarity. Returning to the page as you would return to a safe place.

The Page as Home

Over time, journaling becomes more than a habit. It becomes a relationship — a place you return to when life feels loud or unclear.

You don’t journal to become better.
You journal to become closer.

Closer to your truth.
Closer to your needs.
Closer to the parts of you that don’t need fixing, only listening.

In the practice of soft living, the page is not a mirror for judgment.
It is a soft place to land.

Loving Softly: How Gentleness Transforms Connection

Loving Softly: How Gentleness Transforms Connection

Many of us learned to love the same way we learned to survive by adapting, accommodating, and holding ourselves together no matter the cost.

We learned to stay composed instead of expressive. To keep the peace instead of speaking our truth. To endure rather than feel. Over time, love became something we managed instead of something we rested into.

Soft living invites us to love differently,

  • To step out of performance and into presence.
  • To allow relationships to feel safe instead of strenuous.
  • To choose connection that nourishes rather than consumes.

Soft Love Begins With Safety

At the heart of soft living is emotional safety — the felt sense that you can be yourself without bracing for impact. In relationships, this means you don’t have to shrink, harden, or stay alert in order to belong.

Soft love feels like:

  • being heard without having to justify your feelings

  • expressing needs without fear of punishment or withdrawal

  • existing without constant self-monitoring

  • trusting that tenderness will be met with care

This kind of safety doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from mutual respect, attunement, and the willingness to stay emotionally present even when conversations are uncomfortable.

Letting Go of Survival Patterns in Love

When we’ve lived in survival mode for a long time, those patterns often follow us into relationships. We over-give. We over-explain. We tolerate emotional distance while telling ourselves we’re being “understanding.”

Soft living asks us to notice when love feels effortful in ways that drain us.

Not all discomfort is a sign to leave but constant emotional tension is a sign to pause. Love should challenge us to grow, yes — but it should not require us to abandon ourselves.

Loving softly means recognizing when you’re trying to earn love through endurance instead of allowing it through authenticity.

Communication Without Armor

Soft living reshapes the way we communicate. Instead of approaching conversations defensively or rehearsing arguments in our heads, we speak from grounded honesty.

Soft communication sounds like:

  • “This is how I feel,” instead of “You always…”

  • “I need time,” instead of forcing resolution

  • “This matters to me,” without over-justifying

  • listening to understand, not to defend

It doesn’t mean conversations are easy. It means they are real and rooted in respect.

Choosing Presence Over Performance

In soft living, love is not measured by grand gestures or emotional intensity. It is measured by consistency, care, and the ability to stay emotionally available.

Presence looks like:

  • showing up without distraction

  • allowing silence without discomfort

  • offering reassurance without being asked

  • respecting boundaries without resentment

These are the moments that build trust. These are the moments where love feels like a place you can rest.

When Soft Living Reveals Hard Truths

Sometimes, embracing softness brings clarity we can no longer ignore.

When you stop numbing yourself, you may notice that certain relationships feel sharp, draining, or unsafe. Soft living doesn’t ask you to harden yourself to survive these dynamics, it asks you to listen to what your body already knows.

Gentleness is not about tolerating less-than-you-deserve behavior. It is about honoring your emotional needs with honesty and courage.

Choosing softness may mean choosing distance.
It may mean redefining love.
It may mean choosing yourself.

And that, too, is an act of love.

Love as a Place to Rest

At its most aligned, love does not demand constant proving. It does not require you to brace or perform. It allows you to arrive as you are — imperfect, feeling, human.

Soft living reminds us that love is not meant to be endured.
It is meant to be experienced with ease, care, and mutual presence.

When love feels safe, the heart softens.
When the heart softens, connection deepens.

And in that gentleness, love becomes not just something you give but something you can finally receive.

Softness Is Not Weakness: Redefining Strength

Softness Is Not Weakness: Redefining Strength

Strength has long been measured by how much we can endure.

How much we can carry without breaking. How well we can stay composed under pressure. How quickly we can recover and move on. Somewhere along the way, resilience became synonymous with silence, and survival was mistaken for success.

Soft living invites us to question that definition.

What if strength isn’t about pushing through at all costs but about knowing when not to?

The Quiet Misunderstanding of Softness

Softness is often misunderstood as fragility. As indecision. As a lack of discipline or drive. We associate gentleness with vulnerability, and vulnerability with risk. So we harden ourselves instead – our schedules, our boundaries, our emotions, believing that firmness is what keeps us safe.

But hardness is not the same as strength.

True strength does not require constant tension. It does not demand self-denial. It does not ask us to abandon our inner experience in order to appear capable.

Softness, in its truest form, is the ability to remain open without collapsing. It is presence without defensiveness. It is choosing to stay connected to yourself even when the world asks you to move faster than your nervous system can handle.

Strength That Begins Inside

Redefining strength means shifting from external performance to internal alignment.

It looks like:

  • acknowledging exhaustion instead of masking it

  • honoring emotions instead of minimizing them

  • choosing rest without explaining yourself

  • setting boundaries that protect your energy, not your image

This kind of strength is quiet. It doesn’t announce itself or seek validation. It shows up in the moments no one sees—when you pause before reacting, when you listen to your body, when you choose compassion over self-criticism.

Softness becomes strength when it is grounded in self-trust.

Why Soft Strength Feels Uncomfortable at First

For many of us, softness feels unfamiliar because it requires us to let go of control. If we’ve learned that being strong keeps us safe, then easing our grip can feel like exposure.

We may fear that if we stop pushing, everything will fall apart.

But what often happens instead is the opposite. When we stop forcing ourselves through life, clarity returns. Energy replenishes. Decisions feel less urgent and more intentional. The body relaxes, and with it, the mind.

Soft strength doesn’t remove responsibility, it removes unnecessary resistance.

Practicing Strength Without Hardness

Living softly doesn’t mean abandoning discipline or purpose. It means practicing them with respect for your limits.

You might notice soft strength when:

  • you take a break before burnout demands it

  • you allow emotions to pass without judgment

  • you speak honestly without over-explaining

  • you choose steadiness over urgency

These choices may seem small, but over time they reshape how you relate to yourself—and to the world.

A New Definition of Resilience

Resilience is not how quickly you bounce back.
It is how safely you stay with yourself during difficulty.

Soft living teaches us that we do not need to be hard to be capable. We do not need to suffer to be worthy. We do not need to prove our strength by ignoring our needs.

There is power in listening.
There is courage in slowing down.
There is strength in choosing gentleness again and again.

Softness is not weakness.
It is strength that has learned to breathe.

The Art of Soft Living: Choosing Gentleness in a World That Rushes

The Art of Soft Living: Choosing Gentleness in a World That Rushes

We live in a world that moves quickly and praises those who can keep up.

Faster replies. Fuller calendars. Sharper edges. We are taught sometimes subtly, sometimes loudly, that resilience looks like endurance, that strength sounds like certainty, and that slowing down is something we can do later, once everything is handled.

But later rarely comes.

Soft living begins with a quiet rebellion: the choice to stop rushing yourself through your own life.

It doesn’t announce itself with dramatic changes or bold declarations. Instead, it arrives gently in the moment you pause before saying yes, in the breath you take before reacting, in the permission you give yourself to rest without justifying it. Soft living is not about withdrawing from the world. It is about engaging with it differently.

Why Softness Feels Unfamiliar

 

For many of us, softness doesn’t feel natural at first, it feels unsafe. We’ve learned that being alert keeps us protected, that staying busy keeps us relevant, that being “on” keeps us needed. Over time, urgency becomes a habit, and tension becomes the baseline.

Soft living asks us to loosen that grip.

Not all at once. Not recklessly. But intentionally.

It asks us to notice how often we brace ourselves against life—how often we rush moments that don’t need rushing, override feelings that ask to be felt, or push past limits we promised ourselves we’d honor. Gentleness can feel like vulnerability, and vulnerability can feel risky when you’ve spent years being strong.

Yet softness is not the absence of strength.
It is strength that no longer needs to prove itself.

Soft Living Is Not Giving Up

 

There is a common misunderstanding that to live softly is to opt out to care less, to try less, to become passive. In truth, soft living requires discernment. It asks you to choose where your energy goes instead of scattering it everywhere. It invites you to be present instead of productive for the sake of appearance.

Soft living looks like:

  • listening to your body before it demands your attention

  • responding instead of reacting

  • allowing rest to be restorative, not strategic

  • choosing clarity over constant effort

It is not a collapse. It is a re-calibration.

The Body Knows the Way

 

One of the most powerful shifts that comes with soft living is the way the body begins to speak and be heard. When we slow down, we notice the subtle signals: the shallow breath, the tight jaw, the fatigue that isn’t physical but emotional.

Soft living is learning to respond to those signals with care instead of criticism.

Instead of asking, “Why can’t I keep going?”
we ask, “What do I need right now?”

This shift alone changes everything. The nervous system softens. The mind quiets. Decisions become clearer. Life feels less like something to survive and more like something to inhabit.

Gentleness as a Daily Practice

 

Soft living isn’t a one-time decision—it’s a daily practice.

It’s choosing one small kindness toward yourself each day.
It’s letting pauses exist without filling them.
It’s trusting that not everything needs to be solved immediately.

Some days, soft living will look like rest.
Other days, it will look like honesty.
And sometimes, it will look like courage, the courage to stop performing strength and simply be present.

A Different Measure of a Good Life

 

What if success wasn’t measured by how much you could carry, but by how well you could care for yourself while carrying it?

Soft living invites us to redefine a good life not by speed, output, or endurance but by sustainability. By emotional truth. By the ability to remain connected to ourselves even when life feels demanding.

This is not about escaping responsibility.
It’s about meeting responsibility with self-respect.

In choosing softness, you are not falling behind.
You are choosing to stay with yourself.

And in a world that constantly pulls us away from our own center, that choice may be the most powerful one of all.

Photo by Tatyana Rubleva on Unsplash